Cold War II - Football v/s Football

Never in the history have two synonyms meant so different. Americans call Football as Soccer and football as football and the rest of the world calls football as football and football as American football. Confused? Yes, blame the corporate cartels for inducing this cold war.

The following words are meant to bring peace between the two footballs. By chiseling the rules and laws of the game to each of these sports, it would not be difficult to make them lovable to both parts of the world. Now that Nobel peace prize is within anybody's grasp, one can give a shot to make this happen and get called to Stockholm :D

Let me start with "Soccer" ... changes that can be brought into "football" so that Americans start loving it:

1. America lives on corporate money. The game with two halves of 45 minutes lasting a total of 90 minutes would not generate money from commercials because there is only room for 15 minutes of commercials during half time. So my solution is to change the format to 4 quarters of 15 minutes each. Let there be 5 to 10 minutes interval between each quarter and then 20 minutes for half time. This way, corporate market soccer well making sure it is prime time and also no other sport is aired at that time.

2. Reduce the size of the field. No kidding. Americans like seeing big figures running around. Having smaller field makes the TV camera panoramic and the players look bigger.

3. Remove the goal keeper from the damn sport. Americans like everything open. Either a fast-food drive-through or gas stations with no attendants (excuse NJ).

4. If a team A shoots at the goal and misses, allow the opposition team steal the ball in hand and run like that dude in Gods must be crazy, throw the ball in the other goal for 7 points. Meanwhile, team A should try to block this dude. If successful, then allow team A gets a free kick over the goal post (not inside), again with no goal keeper. Team A would get 7 points. Don't ask me why 7 points; may be because it is a prime number and nobody tries to mess with it.

5. Wear shoulder pads and helmets and headbutt instead of using corners.

6. Last but not the least ... where are the damn CHEER LEADERS?! I am really really surprised that nobody has thought about this till now!!

Now the "other football”...

1. I think the rest of the world is exasperated because the sport is named football and their sport is called Soccer. They would not start playing or watch football because they already have one since ages. When a guy says, "Dude lets watch football", they would end up watching soccer because it is football for them; played with FEET!
So it would be wise to change the name to Runball. Also in all fairness all other sports are named aptly. Baseball because it is the only sport which works with bases, basketball is not named handball because it is the only one with baskets. "Ice hockey" was not named Hockey because there is already one and ice is what differentiates the sport. So why mess with football? If Runball isn't good, then lets think of unique names like how rugby or cricket or tennis have been named.

2. Not call MLB as World Series or NBA winner as world champions. Come on guys... cities play against each other in these championships. Actually franchisees play against each other and in NBA only Toronto is from a different country. UEFA or Copa America winners don't call themselves world champions even though at least a dozen other countries are involved because it is still not "world wide".

3. Have the players participate in international tournaments by representing "USA" and not just Eagles playing Falcons.

4. Show the faces; don't wear helmets. Spectators would not know who is headbutting whom.

No sport is better than the other. They are just sports. Lets respect both and make the world a better place by playing both the balls in harmony. World Peace ...